They did everything together... Tom and Sarah. Today, they were meeting for lunch at the new sandwich joint on the wharf. There aren't many in the area, usually any type of restaurant offers seafood only. When Sarah pulled up, call it karma or whatever, a spot opened up and she pulled right in. It was an outdoor, walk-up window for ordering at and then picnic tables to sit at. Tom was already in line and gave a little wave to her. She walked over and gave him a hug. They were the best of friends, the kind that know they would never date each other (because they tried for a very brief moment after they had known each other for a short time) and that the other's love life was off limits for discussion or criticism. Otherwise, they talked about everything.
Sarah Keagan, 36 years old, had a demanding look about her. She always dressed business casual in oxford shirts, sometimes a jacket, and any type of slacks other than jeans. She saved those for weekends or anytime other than work. She stood 5' 9" on the money and was obsessed with maintaining proper posture. She had seen how her grandmother's height shrank and the curvature to her spine would cause discomfort and at times was downright painful. Sarah had her grandmother's crystal blue eyes, sandy blonde hair, and thin frame... being thin partly came from genes and partly from high metabolism and a nervous energy. She was always on a mission. Hyper-vigilant at times and just plain curious more often than not.
Tom Schafer was 10 years her senior and offered a balance of cool, calm, collectedness that Sarah's drive lacked. She could bounce ideas and theories around without fear of debilitating criticism but knew the responses she would get would come from a place of understanding and pure encouragement, even if the response wasn't what she wanted to hear. It was always straightforward and honest. She appreciated this quality immensely and hoped someday she would meet someone who would be similar to Tom in that nature.
Tom was slighty taller than 6' and had dark hair and very dark brown eyes. He was a medium build, about 200 pounds, not a thin structure, but definitely toned from being committed to working out 3-4 times a week. He wasn't a fanatic about it but wanted to maintain a level of fitness to some extent. When he was out hiking or hunting he didn't want to be wheezing nor sore after the activity. His father had passed away from a heart condition just 3 years ago and had never been a healthy active individual.
The line at the sandwich shop was moving along quickly and the menu was posted on the wall above the ordering window. Sarah chose a grilled teriyaki chicken sandwich with a little honey mustard, mayo, lettuce, and tomato. Tom ordered a Philly Cheese Steak with all the grilled veggies on top. After ordering, they moved to the right and backed up to make room for others to pick up their orders. Sarah was on Tom's left and as she glanced around the parking lot and picnic tables, she recognized a co-worker, Evelyn, who was a rumor mill all on her own. Sarah cringed when she thought of all the things she'd heard Evelyn say about others in their agency... not just their immediate co-workers or even their individual office, but the entire agency. Sarah had been warned about the rumor mill but had always held a belief that people create that environment all on their own.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Friday, October 12, 2012
It starts with Your Imagination...
Imagine yourself tomorrow... a week from now, a month from now, a year from now. Can you see it? It's very difficult for me to imagine the future.
I've never been very good at setting a goal and then actually making a plan and checking steps off of the list. I'm trying to change that now. It's not a New Year's Resolution, because obviously it's October. It's a step in the right direction though. I saw an anecdote that said: "No matter how far wrong you go, you can always turn around." I understand the concept but also realize that even if you turn around from any path to choose another route, things will be different. You should be one of them.
Another saying: "The definition of insane: Repeating the same thing expecting a different result." I cannot keep doing what I've been doing and expect a better, or different, outcome.
Some of the items on my list that I'm currently working on:
Getting up earlier every day than I have previously. I've always been a night owl so this is very new and I struggle more with getting to sleep early than I do with getting up early. I just need to create a new routine at bedtime as well. The main purpose of this, is to dedicate 30 minutes to writing every day. I'm about 1/2 way there because I have been getting up earlier every day and writing for 30 minutes 3 times a week. Now I just need to ease into writing every day for 30 minutes every morning. I'll be giving that more attention next week. Wish me luck!
Another one is becoming more physically active. I bookmarked the "Couch to 5k" website and completed the first day of training... that's one baby step but if I don't set a specific time to get on the treadmill, there will be no tread marks. So, I believe the next step would mean getting up even a little earlier and either writing for 30 minutes then 20 minutes on the treadmill or vice versa.
Another one involves creating a budget and sticking to it. It always feels like we're living paycheck to paycheck but we are very wasteful and also spoiled with some material things. I'd really like to see how much we could cut back and how much we could actually save if we are determined to do so. Aaahhh... that's another issue. We. It should be easier to maintain and work toward a goal if you have a partner in crime with the same, or at least similar, agenda. Hoping I can get my family on board to see the importance, not only in living more conservatively, but also the value in the peace of mind knowing you are doing better for the future.
So, three fairly concrete goals for me. The fourth and last one is to maintain the goals in my thoughts and actions every day, so I will make notes for myself and blog at least once every two weeks on my progress. I believe that positive things will happen as goals are set and a path will become clear as long as the first step is taken.
I've never been very good at setting a goal and then actually making a plan and checking steps off of the list. I'm trying to change that now. It's not a New Year's Resolution, because obviously it's October. It's a step in the right direction though. I saw an anecdote that said: "No matter how far wrong you go, you can always turn around." I understand the concept but also realize that even if you turn around from any path to choose another route, things will be different. You should be one of them.
Another saying: "The definition of insane: Repeating the same thing expecting a different result." I cannot keep doing what I've been doing and expect a better, or different, outcome.
Some of the items on my list that I'm currently working on:
Getting up earlier every day than I have previously. I've always been a night owl so this is very new and I struggle more with getting to sleep early than I do with getting up early. I just need to create a new routine at bedtime as well. The main purpose of this, is to dedicate 30 minutes to writing every day. I'm about 1/2 way there because I have been getting up earlier every day and writing for 30 minutes 3 times a week. Now I just need to ease into writing every day for 30 minutes every morning. I'll be giving that more attention next week. Wish me luck!
Another one is becoming more physically active. I bookmarked the "Couch to 5k" website and completed the first day of training... that's one baby step but if I don't set a specific time to get on the treadmill, there will be no tread marks. So, I believe the next step would mean getting up even a little earlier and either writing for 30 minutes then 20 minutes on the treadmill or vice versa.
Another one involves creating a budget and sticking to it. It always feels like we're living paycheck to paycheck but we are very wasteful and also spoiled with some material things. I'd really like to see how much we could cut back and how much we could actually save if we are determined to do so. Aaahhh... that's another issue. We. It should be easier to maintain and work toward a goal if you have a partner in crime with the same, or at least similar, agenda. Hoping I can get my family on board to see the importance, not only in living more conservatively, but also the value in the peace of mind knowing you are doing better for the future.
So, three fairly concrete goals for me. The fourth and last one is to maintain the goals in my thoughts and actions every day, so I will make notes for myself and blog at least once every two weeks on my progress. I believe that positive things will happen as goals are set and a path will become clear as long as the first step is taken.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Accomplishment and Self...
After some self-contemplation and visiting with a couple of friends, I've come to a better understanding of what makes people feel good about themselves, including me. When you go to work and start a project, you are playing connect the dots most of the time. You expect an order, a flow that makes sense, and of course, every job has obstacles. Detours are an unavoidable element because things will never be ideal or perfect.
The most frustrating thing about the obstacles and detours are when they occur because of someone else's negligence, unknown need, or inept ability to follow the protocol. These elements are beyond your control and create anxiety. You feel like you're always putting out a fire, and sometimes it's the same fire over and over again because things just aren't flowing smoothly.
The other issue here is that your co-workers or counter associates in other agencies may have other issues that are more pressing, in the workplace, at home, medical issues... the obligations and distractions that each individual faces on any given day are various and multiple. Some courtesy and compassion can take you far in your requests of others.
The same thing occurs in our personal lives every day pertaining to household matters. Ideally every member of the family will put their dirty laundry where it belongs, put dirty dishes, empty cans, and garbage in their proper receptacles. They would put various tools/items back in their proper homes after each use. They would wipe down the top of the stove and the inside of the microwave after each use.
It's called CAYG!!! Clean As You Go!!! Oh boy... I'm on a soapbox now...
I recommend the following remedy, for personal sanity and satisfaction:
First, recognize the fact that you cannot control others. Realize that how you react is up to you. Do you like to complain? Do you like to create drama? Does your heart race when you get worked up? Do you feel your face begin to get hot when someone puts a wrench in your plan? You are internalizing your inability to control others. Once you recognize these facts, you are better able to address your feeling of failure, i.e. lack of accomplishment due to elements out of your control.
Second, just do it... it doesn't matter if it's creating a new habit, breaking a bad habit; it is about checking it off of your to-do list. If you do it, you'll feel better. Start by listing 10 things, right now, today, that are bugging you or that need to be done but you just haven't been motivated. Your list could be compiled of chores, personal in nature, business related, or even that "someday" repair list...
It doesn't matter what the context is, what matters is crossing items off of the list and adding new ones. The sense of accomplishment can start with: Getting out of bed earlier today than yesterday... doing something you set your mind to feels good. Fixing something that's broke feels good. Cleaning something that's dirty feels good.
Before you know it, your to-do list will be full of things you want to do instead of being lop-sided with things you need to do.
The most frustrating thing about the obstacles and detours are when they occur because of someone else's negligence, unknown need, or inept ability to follow the protocol. These elements are beyond your control and create anxiety. You feel like you're always putting out a fire, and sometimes it's the same fire over and over again because things just aren't flowing smoothly.
The other issue here is that your co-workers or counter associates in other agencies may have other issues that are more pressing, in the workplace, at home, medical issues... the obligations and distractions that each individual faces on any given day are various and multiple. Some courtesy and compassion can take you far in your requests of others.
The same thing occurs in our personal lives every day pertaining to household matters. Ideally every member of the family will put their dirty laundry where it belongs, put dirty dishes, empty cans, and garbage in their proper receptacles. They would put various tools/items back in their proper homes after each use. They would wipe down the top of the stove and the inside of the microwave after each use.
It's called CAYG!!! Clean As You Go!!! Oh boy... I'm on a soapbox now...
I recommend the following remedy, for personal sanity and satisfaction:
First, recognize the fact that you cannot control others. Realize that how you react is up to you. Do you like to complain? Do you like to create drama? Does your heart race when you get worked up? Do you feel your face begin to get hot when someone puts a wrench in your plan? You are internalizing your inability to control others. Once you recognize these facts, you are better able to address your feeling of failure, i.e. lack of accomplishment due to elements out of your control.
Second, just do it... it doesn't matter if it's creating a new habit, breaking a bad habit; it is about checking it off of your to-do list. If you do it, you'll feel better. Start by listing 10 things, right now, today, that are bugging you or that need to be done but you just haven't been motivated. Your list could be compiled of chores, personal in nature, business related, or even that "someday" repair list...
It doesn't matter what the context is, what matters is crossing items off of the list and adding new ones. The sense of accomplishment can start with: Getting out of bed earlier today than yesterday... doing something you set your mind to feels good. Fixing something that's broke feels good. Cleaning something that's dirty feels good.
Before you know it, your to-do list will be full of things you want to do instead of being lop-sided with things you need to do.
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